Power is Soft
There's a subtleness that unfolds when true power becomes (Part 4)
Power becomes a fixation once we realize that it is obtainable. We shift to devote our knowing and existing into understanding what it is to feel - powerful. What it is to be seen as - in power. To feel the electricity we have felt before when we felt invincible - because of power.
Power is in the embodiment of the being. And is validated by the witnessing and experiencing of the beholder. We confuse the origin often as we articulate about how we observe those who have achieved a level of social recognition and knowing of power. And in this we compress or expand the ways we create our own perception of power.
What I am discovering is how we choose to reshape our power as we fall more into alignment of what we discover about ourselves that translates our truths. We lower the standards we’ve held upon ourselves that demonize or shame our imperfections. And we devote to celebrating our sense of curiosity and wonder. We hold love in every inch, every cell, every breath. And we move through the world with a lightness, even on the days that life is hard.
Power is so subtle we frequently overlook how many tiny moments are given to build out our resilience, courage, strength, and steadiness in holding the discomfort of how power pulses at a cadence needed for us to find our way to the path that paves our own unique yellow brick road.
I’ve found so much power in control. Controlling my behavior, emotions, reactions, language, movement, body. I’ve discovered and am uncovering so much power in softening, surrender, messiness, and pleasure. Power must shift. Take new forms. That is the very essence of power - to grow. To expand. There’s no way we can contain a force that gives life to all of the world. There’s only room for us to know more by the ways in which we stay in the ever-changing-flow.
I have been trying to think less about power and drop into the witnessing-while-feeling what is existing within my body moment to moment. Where I fidget and clench. Where I breathe into - belly or chest. How I hold or release my breath. The ways I cross my legs. How my shoulders, back, and pelvic floor is sitting. What emotions am I hoarding. In which ways does my body release what it’s no longer able to store.
Power used to feel scary for me. Not only others holding power over me. But me having power within myself. I spent so much of my life in this tug-a-war with committing all my energy and attention to seeing and seeking protection of the ways people could disempower me and then voluntarily - sometimes consciously, sometimes not - handing my power over to others.
One of the things you can learn in talk therapy is the practice of parts work which will give you an understanding of how awareness of anything gives you the possibility of change. It’s not in the acknowledgement in a way of action - it’s at the point of being able to observe and witness any singular that that allows you to choose familiarity or change. This is a power that only you can hold, determine, and take away. And in this we have an way of being able to transform our reality.
I’ve learned how to be in my body. And I’m still deepening that learning every day. It’s been being near people who are closer to the entry of discovery, within the avoidance of the sensation, or chasing the fear of intimacy or pain that have given me a confirmation that even though it’s still a conscious effort - I have grown. Every time I disconnect from my body to live through the lens of my mind, I reach a new point of recognition of how important it is to me to make this container I exist within a home.
When I first began writing this series, power was feeling a kind of way. And as the weeks have passed and my intense devouring of the information I am discovering in relation to how I am experiencing and witnessing power has shifted significantly. There’s a depth of understanding that has moved beyond words and is living within my body. And with this currently, writing - translating - even expressing with the agenda to evoke feeling from another is dissipating. There’s a tiny tingle that holds the truth of what power is for me. And this is something that I think we must discover on our own. No matter what an external mirror reveals - the formula for power within each of us is deeply our own.
Reflections part 4 of 4 - of rewiring what it is to hold power, pleasure, play, connection + love. (read part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4).
LET’S GO SLOW.
LET’S GET DEEP.
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